Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's only me to me and I walk alone

I have a friend that is battling with Multiple Sclerosis right now. In the past four years, I have seen him go from walking normal, to using a cane, to a wheelchair, and most recently, constant help. I have lost close friends and family to death in the past few years. One close friend was brutally murdered, but nothing has hit me as hard as seeing what MS has done to my friend Mark.

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
When the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I had not seen Mark in a few weeks, so I sent him an email to see how he was doing. His reply was, "I live my life one day at a time, MS has spoiled some dreams." When I read this my heart broke. I try not to question God because I know he knows what he is doing. But sometimes I do wonder why good people like Mark have to carry such an awful burden.

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And where I walk alone

Although his body is frail and week, Mark must have the faith and strength of Job.

Mark will remain both in my prayers and... on this cowboys mind.



Dedicated to my friend Mark Six
(Green Day: Boulevard Of Broken Dreams)

Paper In Fire

I have had an issue on my mind lately, and every time I think about it, this song pops in my head...

There is a good life
Right across the green field
And each generation
Stares at it from afar
But we keep no check
On our appetites
So the green fields turn to brown
Like paper in fire

I have often wondered, what is it that some churches have that keeps their members coming back and giving freely. The answer that I came up with is "they are being fed". I believe that one of the biggest problems with churches today is that they are trying to hard to 'save' their congregation. My thought is that the majority of the congregation has already been saved, they just need the spiritual guidance to make it through the everyday pressures of life. Basically they need to be fed. Is God going to bless a church that is not 'feeding' its followers? Could this be why some churches are hurting for money? Has money become a priority over the Word? And, is the money being spent wisely, or is the green field turning to brown like paper in fire.

Lets think of it as a Bible story. A Shepard is to watch over his flock. If he cannot handle the flock he has, God is not going to allow his flock to grow. Likewise, if he is not feeding his flock, they are likely to roam elsewhere to find the nourishment they are missing. Others will soon follow and be fed in another field. The Shepard's flock will diminish as the green fields turn to brown, like paper in fire.

Paper in fire
Stinkin' up the ashtrays
Paper in fire
Smokin' up the alleyways
Who's to say the way
A man should spend his days
Do you let them smolder
Like paper in fire

I truly believe that you will freely give where you are fed. Christianity is under fire, especially in today's society. Armageddon will not be a war over land or oil, but for the heart and souls of mankind. Now more than ever, we need to be fed with the Word of God. Malnourishment is not an option.

Taking the appropriate steps to get the nourishment I need and refusing to burn like paper in fire is... on this cowboys mind.

(Paper In Fire: John Cougar Mellencamp)

Many A Long And Lonesome Highway

I believe that Rodney Crowell is the greatest song writer to ever emerge from the Lone Star State.

And many a long and lonesome highway
Lies before us as we go
And in the end, I'll do it my way
Look for me where the fore winds blow.

Sometimes I forget who is really in charge. Life can be a long and lonesome highway, especially whey I try to do it my way. We try hard to further our careers and our education to succeed in this world because that is how society defines us. But we could achieve so much more if we let God be in charge of our lives. He has a plan for each and every one of us, but many times we miss out because we refuse to hand over control to Him.

I believe in love and danger
I believe the truth is stranger
I believe that fear is much too strong

I know as kids we all heard our parents say, "It's my way or the highway." Biblically, God is saying that to us. His way has many blessings, the highway is long and lonesome. Put God first, then everything else will fall in place. It's time to put egos aside and remember who the boss is. It's difficult, because I like to be in control of the situation. I think we all do to an extent.

And to the east the moon comes showin'
To the west there's storm clouds growin'
Though by myself I'm not alone no more.

Remembering who is in charge is... on this cowboys mind.



(Rodney Crowell: Many A Long And Lonesome Highway)

You'll Be Back

All my friends ask what can they do
To help me get over you

I believe we get to a point in our prayers where we stop praying for healing for our loved one and start praying for strength for us to say goodbye.

Losing someone close is always difficult. A friend of ours lost her father Friday to cancer. He fought a long and courageous battle and died with his loved ones at his side.

Back in 1989, my wife lost her father. She woke up one morning and noticed his car still in the driveway, so she went to check on him. He had passed away in his sleep.

There is no easy way to say goodbye. It is difficult to watch a loved one slowly die, yet with a sudden death, you feel like you never got to say goodbye. I believe this is why it is so important to make memories. Say what needs to be said because we don't know when our time is going to be up. Don't hold grudges, bury the hatchet. If someone has done you wrong, just forgive them. Chances are, we have done someone wrong along the way. Spend you life making great memories with your loved ones. Then you will have something to comfort you when they are gone.

Till we meet again in Heaven, I'll see you in my dreams...

Cause you'll be back
Every night in my dreams
You'll be back
And it won't even seem like you're gone
No I won't be alone'
Cause you'll be back every night in my dreams.

Making memories is... on this cowboys mind

(Statler Brothers: You'll Be Back)