Trip Around The Sun

Here 'em singing happy birthday
Better think about the wish I made
This year gone by aint been a piece of cake.
Every day's a revolution
Put it together and it comes undone
Just one more candle and a trip around the sun

As 2009 comes to and end, so does another year of my life. I turned 35 today, and I think I have finally realized what it is all about. It doesn't matter what we accumulate, but rather what we give. Success is great, but it's not what defines us. What defines us is how well we use our gifts and talents to help others. God has always given me everything I needed, now it is my turn to give.

Matthew 10:8
⁸Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils: freely ye have received, freely give.

So much goes on in this world that we have no control over. What we can control, is how we react to it. Don't just take from life, contribute to it. The joy of giving outweighs the joy of receiving. In the end, our possessions are not important, but how we lived our lives is.

I'm just hanging on while this old world keeps spinning.
And it's good to know it's out of my control.
If there's one thing that I've learned from all this living.
Is that it wouldn't change a thing if I let go.

We only have so much time here on earth, leaving a legacy of paying it forward is... on this cowboys mind.


(Trip Around The Sun: Jimmy Buffett, Martina McBride)

Runaway Train

This is one of my favorite songs from the 90's. It had a little different meaning for me though. For me it was very spiritual...

So tired that I couldn't even sleep
So many secrets I couldn't keep
I promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep

Growing up was really tough for me. I not only grew up poor, but I grew up in a neighborhood where white kids were the minority. However, I eventually found a light to talk to in the middle of the night. That light was Jesus Christ. He was someone I could share my thoughts and problems with. I no longer felt alone.

Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a blowtorch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning

I can still clearly remember the trip to Lakeview Church camp in 1990 that changed my life forever. It was that weekend that I gave my life to Christ and started looking at the world differently.

Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life's mystery seems so faded.

Growing up in a church with a strong youth program is what saved me. It kept me out of trouble, and the guidance I received help me make the right life choices. This is the reason I am so passionate about raising my daughter in a church with a strong youth program. I want my daughter to grow up with other Christian children that she can fellowship with on her level. Youth counselors have a powerful impact on the kids in the program, I know mine did on me. Without the support and guidance from my youth director and my Christian peers, I would still be a runaway train.

Runaway train, never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there

I know where I am now. Keeping myself on track, and keeping my daughter on the right 'tracks' so she does not become a runaway train is... on this cowboys mind.


(Soul Asylum: Runaway Train)

Ships That Don't Come In

We talked of roads untraveled
We talked of love untrue
Of strings that come unraveled
We were kings and kindred fools
And just when I'd hit bottom
That old man raised his glass
He said at least we had our chances
There's those who never had.

Have you ever had one of those weeks when your faith was truly tested? I really try not to question God, but sometimes I just want to know why.

My cousin is on her way to California today to see her son. He is only in his twenties, but has been battling cancer for some time. The new clinical trials were not working, and now he is in a drug induced coma waiting on the arrival of his mother and brother. How can you live your life when you are constantly battling for it?

I can't help but feel guilty for being given a chance at life when others have not. It does make me realize though, just how precious life is. You really have to take advantage of every moment you have. Life is too short to stress and worry about things that are not going to matter once we are gone.

I guess it truly is the moments that take our breath away and not the number of breaths that we take that measure our lives. Time is a gift, and I want to make sure that when I do take my last breath, that my life was not lived in vain. I think I owe that to those who never got that chance.

So here's to all the soldiers
Who have ever died in vain
The insane locked up in themselves
The homeless down on Main
For those who stand on empty shores
And spit against the wind
For those who wait forever
For ships that don't come in

God made life a gamble. And remembering that we are still in the game is... on this cowboys mind.



(Joe Diffe: Ships That Don't Come In)